How did you get here?
Me in my head :Well the obvious route, how else would i have gotten here?
My actual response : I took an Uber taxi. Besides its quite easy to locate.
No no, i mean how did you arrive at this mental state? She asked again.
In my head: I had known Sessions are about Q and A's but damn! Can you ease me into the process? How about what's my name, what I do for a living? How old are my? I know i already filled out the form but it won't hurt to ask me as a way of making me feel comfortable. Isn't that suppose to be part of the process - making me comfortable. Don't worry about wasting time aunty, i'm the one paying.
'No response' Dr Theresa said interrupting my thought.
Hmmm
Okay tell me about your childhood?
Me in my head : Just like that, i'm suppose to strip my mind before you. I don't even know if i can trust you. All i know of you is what i read online. Why don't we start with you telling me about yourself? Why i should trust you? If i'll get my money's worth?
'I'm ready whenever you are' she said again.
Me in my head: okay fine.
Me: it wasn't too great and it wasn't bad either.
Dr Theresa : If given a chance, would you want to relive it exactly the same way or you would wish to change a few things.
Me: Relive it the same way. So i can tell myself to stop crying and i can learn to love myself and depend on my own appraisal and not that of others, for survival.
Dr Theresa: Deep. I see you've done your homework. That's a major step. Well done.
I smiled.
Dr Theresa : what do you think you lack that you need?
Me: love, care and attention.
Dr Theresa: From?
Me: Myself
Dr Theresa : How do you intend to get those things?
Me: I guess that's why i'm here
Dr Theresa: We are going to take it one step at a time. Your journey will be in phases.
First do you have a boyfriend?
Me: no
Dr Theresa: Does your family know?
Me: No, and i intend to keep it that way.
Dr Theresa: ok
Here's is how we'll start...
No outside source of happiness
Disconnect from that person or group of people whose validation is your source of happiness. Explain to the person or group of people that you'll be unavailable for a while. Maybe work, school or whatever reason.
Listen 3times more than you speak. Try not to be on the defensive this week. Even when wrongly accused. Only speak when asked a question.
Don't forget to keep a journal of your daily activities. You can write on it at whatever time of the day you choose.
We go through this journey together and your journal will help track your mood, reaction and progress.
I nodded,
She smiled.
See you on...
Xoxo
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